Valentine's Day

This whole notion of a “perfect love” day, a contrived Hallmark money-maker, made me think of people who are without their perfect love today. Maybe they haven’t found them yet or maybe that relationship ended. Not that I am at all qualified to give advice, I will give it a shot on this subject. While waiting for whomever this person is to enter your life, don’t expect the Cinderella story. Real love is usually more subtle and less picturesque.
I woke up earlier than my husband today and watched him sleep; a hand tucked by his face and thought “Another Valentine’s Day with this many is it even?” and, believe me, I feel blessed. But there is no perfect marriage or perfect boyfriend/girlfriend. The quest to find that person who is going to make your life perfect…well, I don’t think perfection should be the goal.
The destination should be to find someone who loves and accepts you for all you are; and likewise. They will encourage, support and speak the truth in love (which isn’t always a bed of roses, by the way!). They will need you to do the same for them.

Many times, the only difference between a failed relationship and a flourishing relationship is effort. Let go of the idea that your partner is supposed to make you happy and will never stumble, let go of the idea that if he doesn’t bring flowers home every Friday, he must not love you, let go of the idea that you’re the spouse who does more for the relationship. When I look at my valentine today, still sleeping soundly, I love that we are here because we continue to work through the imperfections and learn to accept them.
Although I love the idea of a recognizing your special person today with a card or gift or a simply stated sentiment, I refuse to get caught up in the marketed promotion of a “diamonds are forever” commercial. He has been my valentine since the time when my dad stopped buying me a box of chocolate every year. We have, in fact, been saying “Happy Valentine’s Day” to each other since 1982. He won’t bring home flowers every Friday or every month but he will, on occasion, and I love when he does.
Happy Valentine’s Day to you.

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