It’s impractical to think that my relationship with God is going to be remarkable and noticeable every second of every day. Sometimes, in fact, it’s barely noticeable even to me.
There was a time when I would become anxious about the drifting of my relationship with God; when I felt abandoned or hopeless that I’d ever establish that “something special” with Him at all. Especially at weekend services, where some people are visibly locked in with their Father, there would be moments of..well, let’s call it what it is. Jealousy. Why can she feel so immersed in worship and why is he so overcome with God’s mercy and why am I feeling disjointed? That’s not a very pretty place to be.
In my walk, I’ve learned that it’s never God who is distant ~ it is always me putting a roadblock between He and I. So now that I’ve learned that, why do these barriers still prevent me, from time to time, to maintaining a connection? Ironically, it’s many of the same things that wedge our most important and precious relationships…
- Lack of attention. Am I too busy to delve into His word? If I can’t find an hour, can I find 5 minutes?
- Lack of commitment. Am I assuming I will feel close to Him even though I break promises every day? Am I relying on His mercy and grace to give me a blank slate every time I sin so I’ve stopped trying to be as obedient as I should be?
- Short on purpose and focus. Is He involved in every decision I make? Every word I say? Am I really living my life for Him….or more for me?
He is merciful and He is forgiving but I am feeling convicted this morning. I’ve let the minutia of the daily grind interfere with allowing my Father to close in around me. I did that all by myself.
All is not lost. I can make the u-turn and recommit and refocus; apologetic and exposed. He will be there, again, to extend grace. He will close in around me and bring light to the shadows and I will, once again, be left wondering why I let negligence gain ground.
Be blessed and spend some time with God today.