Hiding

My appreciation for someone was elevated this week.

My appreciation grew as a result of how this person responded to their own poor decision ~ not because of the poor decision itself. With no excuses, no attempt to hide, and no guise, my friend admitted and apologized.

So simple and yet one of the most admirable things I’ve witnessed in quite some time. An apology was offered, not expected. There was no sense of entitlement but there was gratitude and affirmation when grace was extended.

There is so much of this world that I’m unsure of but I do know this. I’m not as courageous; my fear of scrutiny and judgment would outweigh my desire to be forthcoming. Regrettably, I would probably conceal myself and wait for time to pass…and that makes me a coward.

I don’t have the words to explain how shamed I feel at this realization ~ this awareness that I only take my moral failings to God and, even then, I tend to avoid that conversation with Him until strong conviction stands in my way and prevents me from moving forward. I’m not sure where this characteristic comes from except that when I was younger, I learned very early that my parents didn’t really want to hear the truth despite what they said to the contrary ~ they preferred ignorance. It was easiest for them and certainly easiest for me.

Anyway, my friend stumbled. My friend, from that moment forward, got up and did everything possible to foster reparation with those affected. For that, I am proud to count you as a friend. For that, my appreciation for you has grown.

Maybe you will have inspired me to lose my camouflage so that I can be free to stumble and get back up without fear.

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