Remember, before you were a parent, when the difficulties of raising a child was something adults exaggerated about? It seemed, to me, that it would be simple to mold a tiny little being into a version of whatever I wanted. That’s so amazingly laughable that it is bringing a smile to my face as I write this.
Like so many teenagers before me, I would sulk in my room after yet another verbal diatribe with my parents and think to myself,
I will never be the kind of parent who…
or
why are they so intent on making my life miserable?
Typical teenage angst. Immature and foolish.
The truth is this~ I was an intolerable teen that could have decimated the composure of the most patient of parents. The fact that my parents were neither composed or patient a great deal of the time due to their very nature created a battlefield and I was an eager, willing opponent.
Thank God, we all muddled through it and I was happily sent on my way to adulthood. As I was literally walking (or was it running?) from the rules and regulations of my upbringing, I made a solemn vow to myself. A vow that went something like this ~
My kids will always be able to come to me with anything. My kids will want their friends to come over to our house because I’ll be the “fun” parent. I’ll be a parent and a friend to my kids.
So many years later, I realize that somewhere between how my parents reared their children and how I reared my own lies the balance. What a difficult and distressing chore it is to find the right harmony in this thing called parenthood. It’s true; it’s so much harder than any of us could have envisioned.
How ignorant I was to suppose I could do better, though I pray I have. Every generation wants that improvement for the next ~ I certainly hope both of my wonderful children will take my good parenting skills and improve upon them. I am confident they will discard the skills that were lackluster and, I pray, will understand my intentions were always for their good despite my shortcomings.
I credit God for molding them and I’m so full of gratitude that He knew what he was doing for the last 23 and 19 years of their lives, especially when I did not. Even when I didn’t call on Him to help me. Especially then.
Parents, take a minute to acknowledge we don’t always get it right. Sometimes, we don’t even consider we’re wrong.
Children (and yes, even those of us who are parents ourselves), take a minute to acknowledge it’s a process with no instuction book. There shouldn’t be a tally of rights and wrongs where intentions were pure. Forgive the errors; be thankful for the honorable actions.
This parenting thing was tough..and awesome…and scary…and wonderful. I would do it all again if given the chance but, alas, my turn has passed and the next generation has the baton.