I was home sick today ~ nothing serious, just a cold. I have learned one thing for sure, though. The old adage “Starve a fever, feed a cold” has left a well worn path from the sofa to the kitchen. If I don’t start feeling better soon, W will have to take on a second job to supplement the grocery bill. So, great, now I feel congested, achy and gluttonous.
Between bad cable tv and answering work email, I’ve napped off and on. I’ve looked around the house and made mental note of all of the little things I could be doing if I were feeling at all productive…which I’m not. There was even a twinge of guilt for about 3.2 seconds until a sneeze interrupted that thought!
I’m relying on a small storage of energy to devote 30 minutes to showering and drying my hair so that my outward appearance doesn’t alarm my husband when he gets home.Wouldn’t want to send him running for the hills!
Today wasn’t completely futile, though. In between my catnaps, the guilt, and the eating, I did some reading. There’s a large medley of unread books on my nightstand that were supposed to have been read cover to cover over Christmas and here it is nearly March. Disgraceful!
Not knowing where to begin, I did what any normal girl would do, I read the back covers of all of the paperbacks, hoping that the perfect one would strike a chord today. It couldn’t be anything too deep because the cobwebs in my brain from too much sleep were preventing a lot of the normal flow of information.
Ultimately, I came up empty and read, instead, some letters and cards that I have saved over the years. The big, monumental ones that marked exclusive moments in time. Some were amazingly tender and sweet, like those that boldly proclaim me to be the best mommy in the world. One was a little note written in a boys 6th grade penmanship, telling me how much it would mean to him if I could remember to leave a few bucks on the counter the next morning so he could go somewhere with his friends. One was from a soon-to-be graduating senior who didn’t know how she’d ever make it at college without me.
Some were written by W when we corresponded by letters to and from a ship in the middle of the Persian Gulf ~ long before email on the carriers was a possibility. Paragraphs about missing teeth, baby milestones and future vacations. Some were Birthday cards and Valentines Day cards written when our lives were difficult; the poignancy missing, the deliberate and expected sentiments written without emotion. The beautiful, chaotic, bittersweet, sometimes sad and joyous life I’ve led so far. Sometimes it’s cathartic to be reminded of what was and what is. Today wasn’t wasted. It was quiet and reflective.
All of those memories just tucked away in a nightstand drawer…and in my memory, too. Today wasn’t futile at all.
