Groupon owes me one…

You know those people who tell you that the soreness really settles in about 2 days after a workout? Please tell me they’re wrong. Exactly 12 hours ago, I did a boot camp workout even though I said I’d never put myself through that torture again after that visit to a crazy gym earlier this year. But, alas, Groupon offered 30 days at $30 (approximately a 75% discount) and you know I love a good bargain… so at 6:30 last night, I found myself in a room with other temporarily insane people who want to see if this guy can deliver on his promise to transform us in 30 days.

Basically, it was a timed circuit deal after warmups of  “high knees” and “butt kicks”, “grapevines” and “glute shutes”. I couldn’t believe they called those things just the warmups but, looking back, that’s exactly what it was. The timed circuit training began with

1. lunges (a personal favorite),
2. push-ups (oh, yeah, the real ones. No using knees),
3. squats,
4. push up holds (you literally just hold in a push up position. I couldn’t wait for that station the first time around because I  considered that one to look the easiest. I’m a moron),
5. and finally situps (again, no cheating. No one holding your feet- this is from a completely horizontal position).

And the beauty of this program? You get to repeat that twice! Oh, and for extra giggles, there’s a bonus round where you spend less time at each station but your rest in between is cut to 30 seconds. By that time, it was taking me 30 seconds to move the 10 foot distance to the next station.

Let’s fast forward to this morning. You’ll love this. These are all of the things I’ve noticed and it’s barely 7am.

• Brushing my teeth? Painful. Just that slight bending over the sink had me considering using mouthwash alone.
• Peeing? Okay, who moved my toilet about 3 feet lower?
• Taking the dogs out? When we got as far as my next door neighbors and I stopped, they looked at me like I had lost my mind. Well, I sort of have. That’s our walk. Take it or leave it~ my legs are jello.
• Oh, look, W brought the newspaper right to the door before he left for work. So sweet….sure wish he would have put it on the chair, though, because the ground is about 5’8″ down… too far.

I don’t know if I should give this personal trainer a reward or seek legal action against him for bodily harm!  I do know that I hate Groupon this morning ~ I hold them personally responsible.

I can’t wait for tomorrow morning at 6am when this madness picks up steam with round 2.     The joy of that thought is what will get me through this day.  Okay, off to the shower. I am thankful it’s a stand alone shower so there isn’t that huge 2′ step into the bathtub. That is a blessing.

When I finally get into work today, here is what I will look like. I don’t want anyone to pass me in the hallway and not realize it’s me. I will likely be grimacing…maybe weeping in pain. Either way, be kind to me. I’ve just gotten home from boot camp.