Good bye, February! You once again lived up to your reputation as my least favorite month of the year. It was likely not an oversight that you have less days than everyone else on the calendar ~ we all want you to come and go considerably faster than the other months! (And if you think I’m the only one, just ask anyone who is still up to their rear end in snow.) Can I get an Amen??
Tomorrow, March is ushered in and I am thankful. It means the Strawberry Festival, more beach time, more pool time, Daylight Savings Time, and retiring my scarves to the guest room closet. Transition time and I’m a girl who loves transition….or so I presumed until today.
I read an article this morning about transitional stages in marriage ~ it was part of an automated email that I receive. The opening line kind of grabbed me because it was a quote from psychologist Paul Tournier who said, “I’ve been married 6 times – all to the same woman.” Ha! You have my attention, Paul. What he meant is that marriages evolve and some of the typical evolutions aren’t pretty but they stuck to the plan and hung in there. Transitions. Expect them. Recognize them. Go with it.
In The 7 Stages of Marriage (2007), Harrar and DeMaria identify the transitional stages as:
- Passion
- Realization
- Rebellion
- Cooperation
- Reunion
- Explosion
- Completion
Is it just me or did you happen to notice that explosion is right before completion? This is definitely not the blissful picture of marriage I expected! They go on to explain that if we don’t know what to expect, we can often misinterpret the transitional phases for something bigger than they really are. The bottom line? Transitions don’t have to be labeled as “good” or “bad” ~ they are just….well, transitions. Changes.
It was after reading this article that I realized I don’t really love transitions as much as I had thought. In fact, I tend to transition with a very cautious attitude. I love the idea but not necessarily the process involved in a transition. My AHA moment of the day.
This is causing me to reflect on how I’d like to transition to March. In the past, I’ve marked good and bad dates on the calendar and sort of made myself “stuck”. If February was a crummy month in 1992, it was forever tainted. If April 29th was a fantastic day in 2008, then surely it will be again. I don’t know why I’m that way ~ I’m overly obsessed with the “when’s” of my life.
Tomorrow is March 2011 and I plan on transitioning without holding a grudge against February or a grudge against March 2010. This time around, I am choosing to transition with an optimistic attitude and with less angst where the calendar is concerned. Shifting sand and changing seasons is a part of life and as long as I can keep my footing, I say bring it on. I’m ready and expectant!
