Tomorrow, around 1pm, I will have been married 27 years. The gravity of that statement is not lost on me~ it would be difficult to articulate the thoughts that go through my mind as I attempt to reflect on more than a quarter century of a life built with my husband.
In some ways, 27 years seems to have gone in a blink of an eye. In others, it seems as though he has been in my life forever. I suppose when you meet your life partner when you’re only 15 (though we didn’t date until we were 17), that constitutes nearly an entire lifetime.
By this point, I thought I’d be a marriage expert but in 27 years, I doubt that title is ever really attained. I second guess many things in my marriage just as I second guess my role as a parent; sometimes my best fell short. Sometimes I didn’t do my best. We live and learn and try to do better..even 27 years later. In fact, especially so.
Several years ago, 2 bachelors (jaded by their respective parents’ failed marriages) interviewed multiple couples who had all been wed for at least 40 years. In their extensive research, the bachelors compiled 7 secrets to a long and happy marriage. I believe they are worth looking at whether you’re simply considering marriage or have celebrated milestones of longevity.
- Divorce is not an option. If we have one eye on the exit, we don’t have our entire focus on resolving issues. *Naturally, this excludes abuse of any nature.
- There’s no such thing as a perfect marriage, only perfect moments. Expect non-perfection; practice patience and give the acceptance we want in return.
- Unpack the Gunnysack. Unexpressed frustrations in a marriage can pile up and weigh us down like an overloaded gunnysack
- Never Stop Dating. It’s the quantity of quality time spent together that leads to a wonderful marriage.
- Love is a four-letter word spelled G-I-V-E. Most people think marriage is 50/50. It’s not. It’s 60/40. You give 60. You take 40. And that goes for both of you.
- Join the CMAT Club. The CMAT club stands for Can’t Miss A Thing and represents the idea that life is short, so make sure to enjoy as much with your spouse as you can.
- The Discipline of Respect. It is the catalyst for all things beautiful in a relationship: trust, connection, authenticity, and love.
Amy