If you were to look at the most recent 12 months of your life, what would be the lesson that you’ve taken away from your experiences?
I think we are supposed to learn lessons every day. I believe our struggles with relationships, difficult situations and minor obstacles are lesson-packed case studies and we should always be learning. It is in the midst of struggles, in the depths of despair, and in the trials that the largest lessons are waiting to be discovered.
So what is the biggest lesson of the prior year for you?
Here’s mine. On the surface, it may seem cynical but it’s truly not. I’ve learned that people are not always what they seem~ I’ve watched and learned about PEOPLE. Some are far more awesome than my first impression and some are not living an authentic life at all. Now, you’ve probably learned this lesson already in life but the last year, for me, has been a huge discovery.
I’m fiercely loyal to my friends. I learned that not all friends are built that way; some friends enjoy the superficial relationship. (I thought that qualified as acquaintances but I was wrong)
I learned some people have public personas and then they have their persona for private use. When those two personas are as far as the east is from the west, maybe there is some inauthenticity there. Those two personas should sit down and have a “come to Jesus” moment.
I learned that there are some people we look toward as examples of the life we want to lead and then we find out they’re flawed just like us. I’m not referring to those who wear a mask and pretend to have perfect lives (see above)~ I’m referring to those who are striving to be their best and we place unrealistic expectations on them; forgetting they’re just human like we are.
I learned that first impressions are often wrong. I’m in relationship with several people today who I never really gave half a chance at getting to know when I first met them because our personalities seemed too diverse or any other number of “first impression” ideas but guess what… wrong, wrong, wrong.
I’ve learned that some people are never going to want to get to know me and that’s okay. It doesn’t make them jerks and it doesn’t make me the better person. It’s just that some people are investors into the lives of people around them and some people prefer to invest their efforts differently.
I’ve learned that not everything is meant to be taken personally. People are people and we’re all uniquely designed and that’s the beauty of humanity but… and here’s the lesson….there are so many of us running around who don’t even know who we are. We’re too busy playing the role. Or dragging around hurts. Yes, I was there a year ago, too.
I’ve learned that people who haven’t made a ton of mistakes aren’t people I can necessarily relate to. I like being around the redeemed and recovered messes; I can relate.
It’s just strange. Strange and completely okay because everyone finds their authentic self eventually…. I’m so thankful for the last year and the lesson that authenticity is often the last thing in life that people learn because it’s the toughest lesson there is.
I was just talking to someone last week about this– the lessons we’ve learned this past year. Not long ago, I got criticism for being me (I tend to be a go-getter, extroverted, take control kinda girl)–I started tweaking that to tone myself down b/c some of my personality and actions were being misunderstood and judged. A friend noticed, showed me how to be okay with who God intended me to be and helped me stop being a people pleaser– if someone doesn’t like me or puts energy into being critical–OH WELL. It’s taken a lot of practice to not care as much what others think–but I am THERE. The people who unfriended me for being “so religious I lack common sense”– see ya! I also trust my intuition a lot more. I’ve learned that when someone shows you who they REALLY are…believe it–stop trying to justify it. So, my biggest lessons are not to be a people pleaser, to be “me” as annoying as that may be to some (they don’t have to hang with me), and that I’ll connect to those I’m meant to be friends with, and to stop putting way more into a relationship than the other person is–and to just let offenses and hurts go. There are seasons for everything and when the timer beeps–I’m on to a new season. And I’m turning 40 in May and have a very different outlook on a lot of things and I feel a lot healthier for it.
I love this response, Kim! There’s a lot of truth to just getting older and realizing that who we are is okay and we’re not going to be liked and/or respected by everyone. I’m glad your friend was able to let you know that scaling your big personality back wasn’t the authentic YOU. On the contrary, it makes you who are! Authenticity is the key here. Over the last year, I’ve just learned that I can accept my own faults (of which there are many!) as long as I’m being authentic. Tweaking the things that God wants me to tweak; leaving the rest alone and embracing ME for ME.
Thanks for weighing in and I am one among many who thinks your authenticity is a breath of fresh air!