Sugar Coated

I’m not always real on this blog. I never, ever intend to be someone I’m not but I often sugar coat some of the garbage going on. Oh, come on… We all do it.

“Hi John. How are you?”
“Fine! You?”
“Fine.”
“Great. Let’s play a round of golf soon.”
“Absolutely! I’ll give you call.”

Meanwhile, John has just lost his job, his wife is battling an eating disorder and their teenage daughter has taken up with a young man who looks like he might have just gotten released from the big house. Point taken?
We wisely choose to keep some of the crud in our life out of public view. But what about those times in life when we feel the cold grip of despair and defeat? When we need a real conversation instead of the sugar coated candy. My circle of friends used to consist of a lot of calories and not much substance, to be honest. They would complain about their husband, I would nod in agreement. I would complain about my job and they’d suggest I leave it. They would wish for something “greener” on the other side of the fence and I’d give them a boost into the next yard. In other words, a whole lot of agreeing and not much accountability or wise counsel.

And it needed to change. Thank God, it did change.

Last night, sitting with 3 women over dinner whom God graciously dropped in my lap through various scenarios, I wasn’t surrounded by mindless agreement disguised as friendship. It was challenging in good ways, wisdom filled and purposeful. I not only like each of them very much; I respect them. I didn’t really respect too many of the old friends and I’m sure they’d say the same about me. We were superficial and “fine”. We were disguised and shrouded… just there for the party…nothing too serious. There’s a place for those people in our lives, I suppose, but they shouldn’t be our wise counsel and accountability partners. Once we’re serious about the impact (good OR bad) that our relationships have in our lives, we’re more responsible about our choices. Just like kids who outgrow their need for lollipops, doesn’t there come a time when we need to outgrow our sugar coated relationships?