It was bound to happen

I lost it today in the parking lot of a Publix grocery store.

One too many Facebook posts of how deplorable the human race can be. In just one morning while browsing posts, I saw a post about a man wanted for child pornography…wait, not exactly. This man is wanted for distributing pornography using an infant. My stomach lurched and I stopped reading the article. Then I saw a photo of a baby elephant being tortured so that he’d be “compliant” for his life in the circus. I shut the lap top and I tried to focus on straightening up the house and the things I need to accomplish today. The images wouldn’t leave my head.

Finally, I made the drive to a dog walk and, as usual, the dogs brought me out of my funk. Music loud and windows down, I had successfully pushed the photos to my subconscious and focused on my grocery list, making a quick stop for dinner. Before I walked in to Publix, I noticed I had a Facebook message and just as soon as I was done replying, I saw it. It was the eyes of a pleading dog. The shelter estimates her at less than two years old, she is obviously fully lactating because she’s a new mommy and the post indicated that today, at noon, she would be euthanized because her owners dumped her at a kill facility. She wasn’t even able to nurse her puppies~ they’d been taken from her (far too soon) and without a rescue or adoption, she’d be killed. I looked at the clock on my dashboard and it was 1:07pm. With great hope, I opened the original thread and prayed there would be notification of a last minute rescue. There wasn’t. She had, in fact, lost her life through the inhumanity of a society I don’t even begin to understand. I shouldn’t have but I looked at her picture again and there, in a crowded parking lot of a grocery store, I just wept. It took me minutes to regroup and as I write this, I’m crying again.

It’s too much for a sensitive person like me. I feel like I’m on sensory overload and I KNOW I can’t intentionally take part in taking an animal’s life. Yes, I’ve been a pescatarian for a long while… but I still eat fish. I still eat cheese. I still eat eggs. Have I wanted to move toward being a vegan? Yes, absolutely. Every time I’m certain of my decision, a friend or family member will make me feel like it’s too “radical”, this saving of lives, this peace filled choice, this cruelty free way of life. Or, I’ll make excuses for myself. Can veganism be convenient? Affordable? Practical?   After the grocery store, where I bought salmon, I looked up information on transitioning from vegetarianism to veganism and came across earthlings.com EARTHLINGS is a powerful and informative documentary about society’s treatment of animals, narrated by Joaquin Phoenix with soundtrack by Moby. This multi-award winning film by Nation Earth is a must-see for anyone who cares about animals or wishes to make the world a better place. There’s a film trailer if you’re inclined.

I’m just so flipping sad today. I’m angry at people who “don’t get it” and I really am trying not to be. I don’t want to stand on a soap box and pretend to be better than anyone. I just want justice for all life…the lives of unwanted, abused, tortured, hunted, neglected and slaughtered. This profound ache in my heart is coupled with the shame of being part of the human race. Is it not enough we treat other people so carelessly that we have to treat those without any means of defending themselves even worse? Pardon me, those of you who do not consider yourself “religious”….I really do pray that God has mercy on us.

I’m sorry I’m so overwhelmed today. I hope I’m a better person tomorrow and following my heart with no doubts, misgivings or lack of compassion.

Be blessed,
Amy