Round 6

When you were about 22 or so, do you remember thinking how much about life you had learned since you were 17? So much so, that you barely recognized the “kid” you had been.
Then, suddenly, you’re 30. You wonder what that young person of 22, full of ambition and goals, maybe a crisp new diploma in hand, had been thinking when they thought college was as hard as it was going to get. You’re 30 now- people now expect you to make some good decisions because the benefit of youth is behind you.
Then 40 smacks you upside your head and you secretly wish you could be 30 again because the difference between 30 and 40 is WAY more than a decade somehow. It’s like the difference between night and day; rain and sun; oldish and youngish.
I would really like to have the skin of my 40 year old self. There were a few (ok, more than a few) less wrinkles back then. I wouldn’t mind that at all- call me vain- I can take it. I wouldn’t, however, want to relive the whole decade again because it was a tough one. For REAL. At the beginning, I was living somewhere I hated, we had the stress of buying a house in another state, we had private school and college tuition ahead, personal disruption to our lives, job upheavals, medical issues with parents, declining eye sight and increased wrinkles! Don’t get me wrong- there were some great things, too….like 2 high school followed by 2 college graduations, a wedding, great people to meet and great people to reunite with, trips to beautiful places, having a permanent home that the Navy wasn’t going to force us to leave and many, many other blessings.
Proud moments, humbling moments, shocking moments, devastating moments, disappointments and victories, rip your heart out moments and moments that made my heart burst with overflowing love. My 40’s weren’t as smooth, though, as I had thought they might be when I envisioned them from the vantage point of 30, that’s for certain.

Alas (insert BIG sigh)….50 has knocked on the door and I welcomed it- even offered it some coffee. ♥ It’s kind of like an old friend you’ve been expecting for awhile and there’s some relief that it’s actually not awkward; that it feels pretty comfortable. Bring it on, 6th decade of my life (oh God, that sounds scarier when you put it THAT way!!). The 5th decade tried to kick my butt and did, admittedly, win a few bouts, but this girl got off the mat before the final countdown and now I kind of have some new energy…I think it’s the confidence that comes with knowing you can not only survive, you can thrive. Seriously, who doesn’t want to thrive in everything from health to wealth? (please note- wealth means different things to different people) I know I do! I know I can, more importantly. I’ve got some 50 year old super power these days…I can barely recognize that woman I was on my 40th birthday. FINALLY, my husband turns 50 this week. (it’s a long, long 3 months between my birthday and his- especially THIS year). I’m guessing he barely recognizes that 40 year old he once was, either. Yes, I am definitely ready for Round 6. I’m pretty certain he is, too….
We’re all changing~or at least we should be. Growing in the knowledge of who we are and what our place is in the universe…evolving.