Hoping and Wishing

I realized something about myself yesterday afternoon that kind of surprised me. In fact, it really disappointed me to my core.
I discovered  yesterday that for all of the praying that I do (which isn’t nearly enough), I had overlooked praying about a very, very real need in my extended family. This particular need, I realize now, involved someone who doesn’t really invite God into his daily life and so that affected my unconscious decision to not bring his need to God.
I let someone else’s walk with God affect my praying for a need they had in their life.
I didn’t pray on behalf of a person who needed someone to pray on their behalf.
I have prayed for other people struggling with their faith but not for this one person I love and care about. Why??
Ugh. That’s really ugly.

When I would talk to this person about their need, their demeanor would either be hugely obstinate or slightly welcoming, depending on their mood. Whatever the case, I’d usually say my peace and walk away…..and hope they’d do the right thing. I’ve done a lot of hoping and wishing and talking….but no praying. This has gone on for years, friends. Hoping, wishing, talking, hoping, wishing, talking, etc.

And then I started the fast on Sunday night.  The fast also coincided with an online study I facilitate that happens to be on the subject of Prayer at this time. So I’ve got my bible study guide out and I’m fasting and I’m writing down my specific petitions to God and I come across a page in the study guide that asks me to focus on praying for my family.

Immediately, 6 very specific things came to my mind and I jotted them down~ it was easy to write them out. So, I went about my reading and as I went to bed, I prayed aloud (I’ve learned this~ speak out LOUD) and when I got to the specific prayer that I had only hoped and wished for, I asked God to intervene. To make a way. To make a way where there seemed to be no way….to make a way that had always been refused or discarded before.

And, then, yesterday afternoon….God made a way. A very emotional decision was made that resulted in temporary personal sacrifices but will, I believe, result in a lifetime of personal peace and wellbeing.

Now, the unbelievers and the skeptics will say this would have happened whether I prayed or not. The unbelievers and skeptics will say it’s just a coincidence and I’m certainly not taking any credit for this at all…..I just know God put this gigantic need on my heart and I prayed for the opportunity to be presented and for the opportunity to be received. And it happened. You’ll notice to the right of the prayer request itself is another place to list praise reports. THIS is a big one!

Physically, the fast is really easy so far. I’ve replaced coffee with hot water w/lemon (grateful I don’t have a caffeine dependency like my husband does…he had a bad headache yesterday), I’m eating plenty of fruits throughout the day and enjoying 3 good meals. I’m totally good.

Spiritually, the fast is incredible. I expected irritability and have had great peace. Things that would normally frustrate me haven’t. I’m staying focused on my intentions throughout the day and not being distracted by setbacks (or what I see as a setback). I’ve got energy and I try to use it appropriately instead of mindlessly turning on the tv or some other time waster. Now, I was invited to someone’s house for a dinner/meeting last night and couldn’t partake in her wonderful cooking (and it looked delicious) but I went and made it through just fine. This can be done…..and it can be done without the grumbling. Life is all about the attitude! If we make the fast about the food and not the prayer, we’re missing the mark. Completely.

See you tomorrow!
Amy