Divorce

Well, it’s done.
The marriage of 31 years that was disposable to one of us. JUST one of us.

In writing an article today on divorce for a magazine, I thought of the countless words and actions that landed me in a courtroom on Wednesday morning. I think I’ll always remember that moment of telling a judge that our vows were irretrievably broken and no, Your Honor, there is nothing the system can do to assist in the reconciliation of the marriage. While writing this morning, I thought of how I had always felt superior to those poor divorced people in my circle of friends and acquaintances; how I felt pity for whatever had gone wrong in their relationship. Been there? So many of us have.
The worst thing about divorce besides the obvious? It destroys SO many more people than the actual couple. It is devastating for children~ even the adult ones. It’s hard on in-law’s….my mom, for instance, probably loved my ex-husband more than she loved me at one time! They could talk for hours. She took it hard; losing this boy she had helped raise into a man and who had been there consistently for 34 years no questions asked. It’s hard on grand babies and friends and anyone who knew the couple as…well, a couple. I’ll never view divorce the same way and I will never divorce again because the person I marry will be committed lifelong to me and I to him. End of story; divorce won’t be uttered in our home.
Enough of the sadness. I walked the sad, heartbroken path to the very depths of the earth from April 8th, 2015 when he packed his bags and left just 3 days after my surprise birthday gathering and 2 days after taking me to a petting zoo as a surprise. I prayed to God all day every day…. why was this happening? You, God, hate divorce. I stood firm on the Word and read The Power of a Praying Wife cover to cover multiples times over. I begged for answers from my ex-husband but he gave none. And then, mercifully, a day came this January where his reason was evident in photos. All married and separated just like him.
I thank God every single day for that revelation. I thank God every single day that He had something better for me and that He will not change the will of man BUT He will provide our hearts desire. He is a good, good Father.
Shortly after learning the vows meant nothing and that I deserved so much more than I had gotten for the last 17 of our 31 years together, God brought someone to me who had been a friend. Quickly. Our Lord wasted not a moment of time~ He made it abundantly clear that I could choose to simply wallow in sadness or I could run to Christ believing that He has ways to “restore . . . the years that the swarming locust has eaten” (Joel 2:25).
I’m sure the non-believers will have a tough time understanding how things developed so quickly and I’m not even asking you to. I’m a believer and I sit in AWE of the quick movement. This is my verse of 2016….since the moment I let God arrange my life and who was intended to be in it. Amos So I guess I say this. Divorce is traumatic. The events leading up to the divorce are traumatic…. but God loves you. Life isn’t over~ I believe that the good Lord still sits on the throne and His heart breaks with ours over the devastation of divorce but He also knows full well what will point us to Him and who needs to be present in our lives for His will to come to fruition.