Dog Saga…never ending

On this little blog of mine, I have freely discussed Kahlua (my rat terrier) who doesn’t come home with good report cards from daycare because she’s antisocial and a tad judgmental. I have discussed my next door neighbor who dumps unknown dog waste into my yard and her other neighbors’ yard, as well. Some would say that’s certifiably nuts….all in favor, say “Aye”.  I have also told of my day spent using a wetvac as a result of Roscoe chewing the tubing that leads from the toilet to the wall. All good times.

What I didn’t mention was the $200+ vet bill when Roscoe contracted ringworm from the Humane Society. What I didn’t mention was that Wally got an ear infection from playing at the pool during daycare and literally scratched the side of his neck raw. Also a 200+ vet bill which included enough drugs to kill an elephant. What I didn’t mention was the object that Kahlua found on a routine walk through the neighborhood that has lodged itself nicely in the back of her throat. What I didn’t mention is that although we consider ourselves excellent dog owners, one of my little furry friends decided to leave a temporary tattoo of his mouth on the thigh of a relatively high strung realtor last Thursday evening.

Before anyone asks….no, he’s never ever done this before and yes, he was on a leash ~ though he disengaged the button that is supposed to prevent him from moving more than a couple of feet away. I’ll give W credit for trying to stop Wally’s intent ~ W  has a nice nylon rope burn right through the center of his hand.

I’m kind of feeling like my dogs have lost their minds and, in turn, I am losing mine. I’ve owned a pet for most of my life and have never had a year like this. It’s like they’re going through some rebellious teenage thing and disrespecting authority and rules; I half expect to see them lighting cigarettes on the lanai once I’ve gone to bed! Who do I call to stage an intervention with these canines? ~ where is the rehab specialist? Anyone have Cesar Millan’s telephone number??

Okay…so the long and short of it is this. The realtor will be fine ~ bruises go away and I am truly sorry that Wally decided you were an enemy of the state. I am, like any parent, embarrassed that Junior made a scene in public. I do, like any parent, feel the need to defend him but I don’t think I really can. He was a jerk for a moment in time and we’ve been called to the principals office to discuss his attitude.  You better believe he’s grounded! Cancel your future trips to daycare, buddy; no pool for you.

I’m not taking this lightly ~ this is serious business. I’m going to find the very nearest DLA (dog lovers anonymous) support group and learn all I can about being co-dependent. Actually, W should go. He’s the parent who is “in denial”.

In the meantime, if you could pray that this event closes the chapter on our 2010 dog saga, I would appreciate it. My carpet and walls would appreciate it; the realtor would probably appreciate it; my neighbor and my pocketbook would appreciate it. Only the vet stands to lose if parenting these dogs returns to status quo…..but we can pray the vet inherits money from a long lost relative or something, right?