Since the latter part of November, I’ve been working on a little project that I anticipated would bring in provision for my husband and myself while also throwing a substantial wrench into an already full schedule.
I have a very typical way of doing things~ act quickly. Strike while the iron is hot. Work out the details later. Admittedly, sometimes it works out really well and sometimes it’s a catastrophic disaster because I say YES when the answer should have been a big NO. My approach (or self taught excuse) has always been “if I don’t seize this opportunity, despite the many problems it could potentially cause, what if I miss my big break? What if I miss what is MEANT for me?”
We want what God wants but do we always stop to ask Him if this is really what HE wants? Does He answer and we kind of wince at the answer and so we pretend we didn’t hear Him correctly? If we do, it’s because we want what WE want and we’re only pretending to fall into submission. One more thing before I climb down off the soapbox…a good decision isn’t necessarily a GOD decision.
So in November, as this bright idea formed and my project began, my husband asked me if I felt God was leading me. I have steadfastly, stubbornly maintained since November, through December, and right up until last night that I wasn’t sure if God was leading me but He certainly wasn’t saying NO to me (maybe I should have been an attorney). It was true that doors were open and it was true that I didn’t sense any red flags BUT….. this project, while providing some financial gain, would take a giant chunk out of what I am called to do.
What am I called to do? I’m called to be a pastor and a pastor’s wife and that, my friends, is no small thing if you are to do it with excellence. I’m also called to assist the church in administration and, for the moment, my husband and I kind of collaborate and do that multiple hours of the day. We’re a young church and this is the season of “we do it all” from cleaning bathrooms (yep, we had our purple latex gloves on just yesterday) to vacuuming to hospital visits to funerals to weddings to studying. My husband can add message planning and delivery to the congregation at our 3 weekly services (two on Sunday and a mid-week). We stay busy.
So let’s get back to my project. How was this going to fit AND, more importantly, was this going to take me away from my purpose and calling?
I’m about to take you to school~ ready?! Did you know there’s actually a thing called Shiny Object Syndrome? Not even joking.
SOS – Shiny Object Syndrome. It’s not quite ADD/ADHD. It’s more that a new idea captures your imagination and attention in such a way that you get distracted from the bigger picture and go off in tangents instead of remaining focused on the goal. We think of a new idea, we hear of a great new gadget or marketing technique, and ZOOM, we’re off! There’s great energy and excitement in starting something new.
UGH…… the SOS got me again!! How many times do I need to circle this tree?Proverbs 3:6 AMP says this “In all your ways know and acknowledge and recognize Him, And He will make your paths straight and smooth [removing obstacles that block your way]”. If you need that in a plainer, slap-across-the-face kind of way, the TBT translation says “Become intimate with him in whatever you do, and he will lead you wherever you go.
Don’t think for a moment that you know it all.” OUCH.
Okay. The project has come to an end (gratefully, it was ended for me and so I don’t ever have to naggingly wonder if I missed the thing meant for me). I was lured, with good intentions, by the shiny object. I focused on all of the positive aspects and poo-poo’d the negative aspects. SO after a brief pity party for myself last night, my husband soothed my wounds and then kindly suggested that maybe I need to listen for the YES.