I have to take a good look at myself. I have to inventory everything about me..and not really because I want to but more because I really want to find improvement and be all I am intended. God knows there are many, many areas to be improved upon. Settling on just a few? That will be challenging.
There are problems associated with this task of self analysis, the first of which is that it’s hard to be impartial. I know I react this way because ______ (and, yes, I have an answer). I’m still angry about that because _______ (and another answer is supplied),
I know too much about me and my history not to know why I am the way I am.
Okay, then, let’s move on to the next task. How to change those reactions, those feelings, those opinions? Well, the work just got a lot harder. I’m in the land of the unknown; uncharted territory.
God, in his infinite wisdom, is bringing people into my life who are amazing. Each day brings a new gift; a new ally in my quest to sort it all out and make sense of the debris. That’s the wonderful, staggering thing about a new life in Christ that some can’t understand…and I know, because I was there not so long ago.
He brings hope to the hopeless and courage to the fearful. Most importantly, He doesn’t do this because I deserve it.
I don’t deserve it ~ none of us do.
He does this because His grace is infinite. No beginning and no end.
So when I feel like I’ve opened a box of 1000 tiny puzzle pieces and I can’t find the first two interlocking pieces to begin the picture, I’ll keep looking until I do. I won’t give up and put the puzzle away, waiting for another rainy day to give it another shot. I won’t do that anymore because I’m not ill equipped like I once was.
Instead, I feel like that Verizon guy with the army full of people behind him to make sure the job gets done.
