Just Another Day

Valentine’s Day is this month. Truth be told, my attention is more focused on the Strawberry Festival than it is on 2/14 but I may be the exception. It’s clear that Valentine’s Day is a very big deal for some ~ those who share their anniversary with Cupid, those who look forward to the wrapped box of chocolate annually (my mother), those who anticipate a proposal, and those who simply appreciate dinner reservations and maybe a greeting card.

And the rest of us? Well, it’s likely to be just another day. I’m not sure I even like all of the pressure and commercialism associated with this Hallmark driven holiday BUT, in some small way, I think it helps the non-romantic step outside of their box. How can that be bad?

I still remember the embarrassed, flattered look my mom would have on her face when my dad would walk through the door on Feb. 14th with a grocery-store-bought bouquet of roses and a heart shaped box of  Whitman’s Chocolate Sampler, fresh from the holiday aisle of our local Walgreen’s. He never failed. Even on years when they weren’t on speaking terms, he’d bring them and put them on the snackbar rather than hand them to her. I never quite got that procedure but that was how it was. That was Valentine’s Day in my house.

Consequently, I guess the grandiose expectations for Feb. 14th were not inherited and I think it’s fair to say that W feels the same. In fact, I can’t recall the last time we “celebrated” Valentine’s Day with candlelight, chocolate and romance. Hmmm….never?

But then a friend of ours~ a male friend, in fact~ posted on Facebook yesterday something that he had read and felt led to pass on. I really loved it and am sharing it with you today, too. It’s not just about 2/14…it’s about love on that day and the other 364 days of the year. Ladies, is this the man we all dream of?
Men, take note.

FROM: All Pro Dads. There are some basic principles that can help when we’re serious about honoring the decision—and it is a decision—to “Love Your Wife For Life.” Marriage is all about how we communicate, and this is some of the stuff we need to get across.

1.Understand that love is, primarily, a commitment:

A marriage is decision rooted in a covenant. This means that the future of a marriage is not dependent on feeling, but on our commitment to values.

2.Understand that love is always a choice:

Because of our commitment, we can choose to love. Indeed we must! This is actually a lot easier than waking up in the morning wondering if we’re still “in love.” Love is a choice.

3.When you wake up in the morning, imagine specific things that you can do to serve your wife (then actually do them):

Having chosen, it’s our privilege to act. Loving actions reinforce the choice to love. Do this routinely, and—believe us—the feelings will be there in spades.

4.Tell your wife, every day, that you love her:

Things become more true when you speak them; love is no exception. Not only will your wife respond genuinely, in love, but you will also live into the words you express.

5.Tell your wife—every day—that she is beautiful:

If you believe it, she will believe it. When she believes it…that’s a good thing! Not only is that a good thing, but it will actually become increasingly true.

6.Remember that you are the only one you can change:

There is a lot of compromise in long-term love, but the only compromise we should ever push is our own. Another way to say this is, “Lead by example.” or, “Be the change you want to see.”

7.Establish a habit of faithfulness:

This point is not just about the physical relationship. Be faithful in the way you use your time, in the allocation of resources, in the way that you talk. Faithfulness, or fidelity, has many facets, and they all focus the light on the soul of your relationship.

8.Choose—each day—to love your wife out loud:

Just a few examples: Flowers, chocolates, regular dates, words of affirmation, words of endearment, love notes, cards, attention, weekend getaways, respect, concern, kindness…

9.Always build your wife up:

At least two things happen when a man affirms and encourages his wife. First, she is lifted up. Second, he feels more positively about the relationship.

10.Put your wife first in everything:

Here’s what happens when a man puts himself first:

-Love is sucked out of the relationship

-Tension is created to always make him “happy”

-He becomes impossible to satisfy

-Resentment replaces service

-Much more negative stuff we don’t have time to list….

Here’s what happens when a man puts his wife first:

-The relationship is love-centered

-She automatically seeks to please him

-Respect and encouragement dominate the relational landscape

-The home is pretty-much tension free

-Stuff way too good to publish in this list….!