Through experience, through amazing friendships and, most importantly, through reading and hearing the WORD of Christ, I’m ever-so-slowly learning a lesson that has plagued me most of my life in one form or another.
I cannot depend on anyone to make me happy 100% of the time. Cannot and should not. Here’s the thing~ when I love, I love with wild abandon. I can get so consumed with placing the other person in front of God (and myself!) that it becomes downright dysfunctional. Where does that come from? When did I begin to seek acceptance in this way that eventually had me on the road to becoming a….hold on, I really hate admitting this….a co-dependent idolater?
co·de·pend·ent:
of or pertaining to a relationship in which one person is physically or psychologically addicted, as to alcohol or gambling or behavior, and the other person is psychologically dependent on the first in an unhealthy way.
i·dol·a·try:
excessive or blind adoration, reverence, devotion, etc.
Yep. There it is. People I love have, on occasion, made poor decisions and I have, on occasion, elevated their needs before my own. I elevated their needs to a place of more importance than GOD. 
How sobering is that thought?! Idolatry. Super ugly. That’s a grievous error, not to mention grievous sin. My idolatry included people but others suffer from idolizing money, drugs, pornography… it doesn’t matter whether it’s well intentioned love and devotion or if it’s misplaced dependency on something that will eventually destroy your life… when we magnify someone or something to a place of worship, we’re in the throws of idolatry.
This is a recent discovery for me, actually. In fact, it was a counselor who dropped the word into my lap. If he didn’t notice how shocked I was at the possibility of carrying this label around, I should move to Hollywood immediately and begin an acting career. I was blown away. Here I was, feeling very much the martyr regarding my suffering and then I realized, ever-so-slowly, I had allowed myself to suffer. I had permitted people and their actions to have such an impact on MY life that I had allowed dysfunction and sin to enter through the back door. And I never saw it coming.
We can love our children and not love or enable decisions we feel will be ultimately harmful.
We can love our spouse and never consider divorce while never allowing ourselves to become doormats.
We can hold others to accountability without fear of losing control.
We can love our parents even though big mistakes were made in forming our security and trust in others while taking the stand to not allow damage to our adult selves to take place.
We can make sure that we are always where God wants us if we’re listening to His voice instead of someone else’s.
We can.
I can.
I will.
Blessings,
Amy