There was a time, not so long ago, that I played a game of Hide and Seek with certain truths. I would seek truths and then hide from them in an emotional, draining game I played alone. The truths were barely concealed but I spent an extraordinary number of hours trying to tear away the veil that covered them. In retrospect, the hours were wasted. I could see through the veil enough to recognize the truths but I didn’t really want to look too closely. I also don’t think God was quite ready to reveal things to me just yet.
When God brought me through that situation and the truths were exposed~ as they always are, eventually~ I felt unsteady but thankful for His protection. There was a spirit of thanksgiving that I no longer had to keep clawing at the shrouded truth and challenging myself to get closer with each attempt~ but not so close that I could no longer deny the truth. What an exercise in futility. It was, in a single word, exhausting. Been there?
God is good. He knows our hearts and He knows our deepest needs, limitations, and strengths. He only took me as far as I was able and then, in due time, when He knew my faith was stronger than my own understanding, the clouds were lifted. My faith was stronger than I had thought and I didn’t just lean into it; I collapsed into it.
Lately, my faith has waned. It’s still there, certainly, but I haven’t needed to call on it. When life is without too many hiccups, I stand on my own and forget to lean OR collapse into Christ. I forget how much I need Him. The thing about God is this: He will permit us to do that for a time and then we will be reminded why He is to be first at all times. In good times and in bad. I was reminded this week and every book I picked up, every sermon I listened to, every whisper the Holy Spirit gifted to me was full of the same lesson. God is first and God wants His best for me. HE wants His best for ME… but to have His best, I need to redirect my thoughts and prayers so they are in alignment with His perfect will for me.
I spent some much needed time alone with these thoughts over the weekend and it was a good place to be. My faith was restored and refreshed and the hiccups of the last week are just that and nothing more. Simply stated, there is so much about my life that brings me happiness. But when it doesn’t; when there are inevitable trials, challenges, heartbreaks and sorrows…there must always be joy. 
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. ~Romans 15:13
Be blessed,
Amy