Escalation of an argument into a full blown door slammer. You can see it coming a mile away and yet, like a locomotive unable to stop, it happens. One word too many was said or one word too few.
“Sorry” “Thanks” “Okay”
Maybe 3 words too few.
And these arguments usually begin because someone is tired or frustrated by a situation and the other person doesn’t realize it or maybe even care. Either way, there’s a spark and then, instead of being diffused, something flammable is thrown on it. A look, an unkind word, or a selfish remark. In an instant, the spark is given life and grows into a little fire.
Now water can still douse this little fire but if careful consideration isn’t made, the fire grows. Argument becomes door slammer. Everyone is disappointed and everyone is upset…and everyone is adamant that they are right. And no one wins.
I hate those arguments. Despise them. I have sat in my bedroom many times contemplating the moment the flames ignited and wishing it weren’t so. Wishing that the words could be taken back and kindness would replace ambivalence…but wishing doesn’t make it so. And 700 compliments can be erased with just one careless comment.
This therapist I know once said that underneath all anger is hurt and I know that it sounds simplistic and I’m probably the last human being on earth to have realized it, but that’s the truth. How many door slammers have happened in your life that were a direct result of being hurt…and angry?
Diffuse the sparks and extinguish the tiny little flames with the people in your life. If you’re hurt, say so. Maybe they have no idea how they’ve hurt you! And then find a way to move on.
My wisdom isn’t always put into action, friends…but I do know what I’m talking about.
Proverbs 19:11 Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense.
James 1:19,20 Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.
Ephesians 4:26-27 In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.
Praying tonight that I send the devil packing.
Blessings,
Amy